It’s You Vs. Who and Why?
My mornings are mainly routines with set patterns on how the day is to start. It took me good 25 years to develop a design that helps to extract the most from the day. Not saying this may work for all, but does for me.
It starts with rising early, some exercise, a cup of green tea, a newspaper, a novel, meditation, and writing. Order might differ, but then this is how typical mornings unwind.
A sneak peek into the mornings How A Powerful Morning Routine Can Empower Your Life Now
So I started writing and checked how my website and Medium are doing in terms of articles, other writers, and general growth.
A few minutes later, post research with specs over my eyes getting hazed with a change in temperature as I moved to the cold outside; I finally declared to myself about how all this is a lost cause. I am never going to make it big. People are writing a truckload of stuff with articles going viral with likes, claps, and comments.
Fathom this, to realize about my self-worth and poor run; it took me 2 hours. All this time and the declaration- You are not up there.
Pretty good on procrastination for someone who writes to beat the shit out of life while procrastination is your enemy. It happens with the best of them. Moreover, worthless is what my mind declared of me. Hence, it was the least of my worries.
My head had a common thought all this while.
” I am going to write and write more to outdo this guy, and then see what happens.”
Ok, so the moment of glory had to be materialized soon, or else my self-loathing won’t stop, only to put myself down in the doldrums. The next few days were about a man on a mission. A mission to take down all the writers who are up the ladder, only the man wouldn’t pull anyone down but climb at a better speed.
The days started with reading and multiple ideas written in my go-to diary. Gradually things started moving, and day after day, the articles were up on the portals, and I was basking in the brilliance exuded by this newfound vigor.
What a great run. I was all over the writers above me, and a few I managed to beat. Of course, these poor people didn’t know someone was competing with them. It was a one-sided contest; my rules and definitions, and why not, it’s my story.
It became a repetitive exercise for me. I sat down daily to beat the shit out of someone and excel in the competition declared by me. It took a toll on my thinking. For starters, this whole war game sucked the fun out of writing. There was no joy, but revenge nobody knew. The intention was to prove my worth and to whom? The writing process was no longer a meditative practice that provided peace, but a struggle to keep me afloat in the tumultuous see in my head. It became a match against ignorant opponents I had to win.
It took a few days for a realization to sink in deeply about the whole process and how things are going haywire. Since the fun quotient had already subsided, it became more of monotony and exercise to finish. Yes, it became a task, sort of burden to be taken off my back daily.
We are in a similar life situation. Agree or not, the whole beating down and outdo others is what defines us. We are always competing. Our lives have become an inglorious and un-ending circle of proving a point. Even when nobody is challenging or asking, we tend to prove a point to us for gaining that extra mile in the head.
The problem is; while competing and winning is a part of life, we give in to these traits without a semblance of what we miss. Our conditioning influences us to treat life within defined parameters of success and failures. We are out to show the world our mettle and success, and that comes at the cost of happiness and enjoying the entire process.
At some point in time, our goals and ambitions take a backseat while influences around us dictate our lives. We live to please others. The daily struggle is limited to get better than someone else, a better car, a better house, or a better salary. Rather than becoming the best version of ourselves, we look at how to take down someone else by moving ahead.
Why mental bankruptcy? Originality is long dead, and the advent of lavish life rubs onto each. The part of the problem is dis-satisfaction from self. You’ll hear people saying how unprivileged they are.
People with a house, a car, an AC, meals, phone, and fancy clothes crib how life is unfair to them.
The problem is- we equate happiness with acquisitions. The more we acquire, the merrier life gets is a general belief and way of life.
We should all compete, but comparison kills. The fact that there is always someone better is a truth you can’t deny. Accept life for what it is. You can chart out your growth plan the way you see fit. Walk your path, for that gives satisfaction and happiness. There is no greater peace than knowing about yourself and doing your bit. Work on things granted to you, accepting the fact that you are blessed. Strive for more, but also thrive within. Once you start comparing, there is always a constant tussle and struggle. Compete, but first, be the best version of yourself.
Let me know if this was worth your while.
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