Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

I want to know what’s about to happen tomorrow, next month, or maybe the next few moments.

At least, I think I do, but then the thought strikes me. What if there is a disaster waiting to happen that’s uncontrollable or a catastrophe I wouldn’t want to see.

The thing is, there are things that we think we need but don’t. It may be a perfect body, partner, or just about anything that seems to be better than the existing one.

Our life is one endless cycle of acquisitions and purchases. Anything within our reach and easily acquirable is for ours to take. We tend to fill up our closets and minds with the unnecessary. The result is, we find ourselves in a maze of things and thoughts at our disposal, with no value added to our lives.

The marketeers have played their cards right. They have created needs and desires for us. The fact- they buy our insecurities and sell it well packaged.

From material stuff to our thoughts, we hold on to things and beliefs, 

not serving any purpose to a larger scheme of things.

What if? The thought.

We are an aggregate of the choices we made. Everybody strives for a better life, and the obvious question that pops in our heads is- What if the choice we made had been different. Had we done this instead of that and numerous variations of it? 

We keep searching for an alternate, and its endless possibilities in our lives. 

The only problem being, there is none, and you got to live with what you have in hand. It not only frustrates but keeps you stuck wherever you eventually landed. Dwelling on the what-if is like searching for something that wasn’t even there.

You may follow a simple exercise of chalking out all the possibilities that exist had you walked a different path. The instant realization would be of numerous probabilities had you taken a different route, and each would have some pros and cons. 

Ideal life does not exist, and the one you chose is for you to take as it is and embrace. Making the existing life better is a viable option than pondering over what could have been.

External validation.

It is good to have the feeling that others like you or your work. A little appreciation does not harm, but is it necessary? Do you need external validation all the time? The answer is No.

Without even realizing it, you are negatively affecting your effectiveness by seeking external approval.

When you crave external validation, you are always anxious. The constant need to seek confirmation restricts you from doing things important to you. Since you base your worth based on external opinions, you would never unleash your untapped potential. The panic grips even if you are sure of something.

It happens because you feel anxious about trying things outside your comfort zone. The constant fear of what others might think or expect from you limits your life. 

Needing consent leads you to discard all potential opportunities since you are too concerned and dread performance failure before even starting.

Move past your fear of validation, and you’ll be able to create something on your own with freedom.

Rather than seeking validation from others, ask yourself. Approval is good; it is comforting. It becomes problematic once you base your decisions around it.

More of everything. The clutter we create.

Clothes, shoes, a better phone, a big TV, and just about everything else we keep stuffing our lives with more.

We tend to want more of everything even if we couldn’t use it all. The obsession with acquisition is a grave concern as it only reflects the inclination towards material things.

Evaluate your life, home, or wardrobe, and you have the answer immediately. There are clothes you never wear, shoes you last wore years back, a big TV to satisfy the need of having it, and almost everything you own. You don’t need clutter in your life, but your urge and influence through external stimuli get the better of you. 

Interestingly, things you utilize beyond the rightful necessities are merely means for distraction. 

Everything in your life is a result of external influence and your quest to be someone you saw or admire.

There’s no point having an overstuffed wardrobe and holding onto things for use “someday.” Hoarding everything you don’t use is unnecessary clutter. Having fancy furniture nobody uses is space consuming at best. Having a truckload of clothes you aren’t wearing is mental bankruptcy.

Do away with things you don’t need. Start with simplifying things by owning the bare minimum to sustain.

Read Why Simplifying Your Life Helps: Secrets For A Simple Life

Many friends.

Frankly, you do not need many friends. Just a few will do. I mean, let’s be candid and fair about it. How many of them do you call or even a message? 

We have a few very close friends and a lot of relationships that are formal and kept alive due to mutual interests. 

The number of friends you have is not directly proportional to your popularity or happiness. With friends, it is always about the depth of the relationship rather than the quantity.

As you mature, you learn the significance of having a few close friends rather than many distant relationships. Always have a close circle of friends with who you can confide in and share the good and bad times alike. Once you have people who are close to you, the numbers won’t matter.

To live the way society expects.

Once you get caught up in society’s expectations and measures, you end up losing sight of yourself.

Expectations have become the norm in our modern society. The gap between expectation and reality is your anxiety and frustration.

We are under immense pressure to fulfill someone else’s expectations all the time. 

When we live to please others and do as they deem fit, we stop living and merely exist. We go through life like it is some road, without experiencing the beauty of the journey.

We get tricked into believing a trend of normal life since everybody else is in the same boat. Everything starting from your childhood has been about matching what society expects. Even if you try to deviate from the path, people push you back to get in line with others. For people who take the plunge, find their meaning in life.

Starting from your 9 to 5 job, meaningless possessions, property mortgage, credit cards, car, and a fixed profession, everything else gets dictated by society standards. Either you fit in or are deemed unfit. We are sold a one-way ticket to life as imagined by others.

You don’t need to follow some manual to live and should carve your path to fulfillment. 

Closing thoughts

Shatter your existing beliefs daily, and you’ll witness a gradual shift towards a better mindset.

Maybe the key to happiness is not more clothes but donating them to a nearby orphanage.

Maybe you don’t need more money to be happy as society tells you, and it is just the simplicity you crave.

Maybe you need to be you, rather than being what others expect.

Things you think you need in life are not the ones you thought, but the things people and society told you to have.

Thanks for reading.

Let me know if this was worth your while.

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Sincerely

thewriterhead