Life is easy, but one massive struggle for sure. For every simple thing, there is a fancy and an alternate solution. While you could have been relaxing in life, you chose complications and struggle.
I am not against that luxury car or an account-breaking expensive phone, but everything comes with a cost, ours just happens to be the struggles and hardships we create.
You were happy in the small house but you got a bigger one, your old car was just fine, but you had to buy a new one. While perceived as growth, they can also be termed as meaningless pursuits. Yes, it is advisable to move forward in life, but at what cost. Is everything dictated according to social norms and within the lens of what society deems fit.
We have more than ever now, but nobody seems to be at peace. Everything you could have envisioned 15 years back is just there at your disposal. No questions asked, no hardship required. Yet, we seem to struggle more than ever. Our jobs, relationships, life-path, a new I-phone or some online sale. We are surrounded and hounded. You may want to run away, but you are too engrossed to even think about that. Isn’t it odd that, in times of abundance and everything at a click, we are stressed unlike the times gone by?
Wouldn’t you desire to sleep peacefully and wake up charged for the day rather than dragging yourself throughout and just making it? Wasn’t everything invented to make life easy? If we have the most prized possessions, why are things so hard?
Stop making your life harder. We are addicted and attuned for difficulty. We relate things in a rather strange way. A great life will be difficult is our assumption. It’s similar to where we pretend to be busy following our always-on culture, yet achieving nothing.
While your destiny and fate play a role in where you might reach, the journey can be simple and easy. You can replace constant anxiousness, stress, and complications with an easy-going lifestyle.
You’ll ask how? Well, read below.
The “Why me” syndrome
Not everything is about you. Nobody is conspiring against you and your happiness. The car that overtook you in a jiffy or the one not providing you the side to move isn’t against you.
We have this inherent ability to over-glorify ourselves. We are part of the whole, yet we believe it to be the opposite. Any untoward incident is hue and cry ending up in exaggeration of how the world is stacked against us.
If you are a perpetual thinker who believes everyone else’s behavior is about you, you are ensuring a constant stream of frustrated emotions making your life way harder than it has to be. Rather, assume that people have their struggles and shortcomings that when ignited stare at your face. Someone may have lost a dear one or some prized possession. Give people the benefit of doubt, for you would need it during your low.
There may be a case of self-inflicted agony over trivial issues like you face daily. Accepting people as they are giving them the necessary leeway doesn’t necessarily make you a lesser person. All it does is help you feel happier, motivated, and cheerful.
I’ve had bouts of chronic anger on every issue that came up. So when the paper roll just went out when my billing turn came or anything that didn’t go as planned, the mess started. Over the years, I realized, it’s not about me and there is no conspiracy against me. I am the one against me causing anger and pain. It is evident, the world doesn’t even know who I am, let alone contrive against me.
So, why the fuss?
You are in a comparison trap
Similar to money being the root cause of all evil, the above sums up all that is wrong with us today. We are a sucker to what and how of others. The art of minding our own business is long lost or rather skipped a generation now.
We live in a world where people share their perfect day and routine from their imperfect day, and we read their moments as a perfect life comparing how inadequate we are. However, the reality is far from it. Your perfect person revealing their perfect life is living the same anxiety-ridden life as you do. You just found a moment and gauged how imperfect yourself is since you compared and took something as a reference.
You know people who have more than you. Don’t you?—money, fame, body? The constant splurge of envy they cause is only natural, and our over-the-top social media is the perfect breeding ground to nourish grudges and frustrations.
The world and your self-validation are now dependent on the number of likes and followers and why wouldn’t it? You seem to gauge a person’s worth through them. Since someone beat you in the numbers game, you are left gasping for more.
Weed out any of the intrusions that cause you to compare. Unwind, unfollow or un-look if need be done, but stop comparing. The time and energy you put to procrastinate about that guy who rented a Lambo for a pic or a botox and surgery-laden model may be used for your good.
Compare yourself with your yesterday and get your shit together. Create, not consume, to be nonplussed forever.
You are not present in the now
Similar to our comparing issue, this is one vice that we all carry. Believe me, I know this is easier said than done but do correct me if there is a more suitable option. All our lives are dictated by constant identification with the past and anticipation for the future. Our clocks might show the time that is now but in principle and spirit, we are either found reminiscing or apprehensive.
Rewind a bit and you’ll notice the trend. While you were watching TV, your mind wandered on some unfinished task. The ideal example would be the sleeping disorders people have. There is a constant struggle within the mind. While there are various reasons for the disorder, but ask people about the truth and they’ll admit the mind being in an overdrive state due to some unfinished business or a past event budging them.
A simple thought to carry and understand is- you can’t change what happened yesterday, and you wreck your today by fretting over the events that may happen tomorrow. The idea is to be present in the now. Fret or not, yesterday is done and tomorrow will unveil exactly as it should, just as yesterday already did.
You thought life is all about taking, and not giving
Why not? Take all, take whatever is within your sight. While we all read giving and receiving in succession, only the receiving survives. The spirit of giving has acceded to the greed of receiving only. Life could have been happier and simple had we followed this age-old practice of barter.
Our insecurities got the better of us. The slightest thought of losing our possession or parting with some money for charity or even helping someone in need cranks us up. We fear loss and scarcity and end up doing nothing. The ideal way to manage stress and live a fulfilling life is to engage yourself in doing good for others. Volunteering without expectations. Expecting something in return is being selfish and comes from inherent greed. Life flows well the way it was supposed to. You need to get involved with life and see things as they are. What life would you view in hindsight when you couldn’t even utter a kind word to someone. Just because you were engrossed all this while pondering over what you can squeeze out of life or someone, you missed an opportunity to live well.
Say some kind words to someone, help a stranger or a friend, or provide food and water to someone in need. Aloof yourself from your preoccupied thoughts or self-preoccupation and view the world around you with love.
Givers of the world are always satisfied while takers are in a regular tussle to get more and yet live miserably.
Wrapping up, I’d say
Live, for the antics can wait. Relax.
Life may be a struggle, but there is no point in making it even harder and adding misery to the shit you go through daily. Do simple things well and stop being uptight and glorifying your existence.
You are about to live once, and it’s enough when done right.
Thanks for reading.
Let me know if this was worth your while.
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