change is the only constant. Tell yourself better stories to change
Change by telling yourself a good story. Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

All this while you’ve identified the problems in life and made affirmations mentally, also knew what to do. But change eludes you. Here’s the thing- “we can’t change because of the shit we keep telling our self.”

Be it success, habits, or anything else you wanted, and you’ll know the answers deep down. Everything you ever desired required tweaking of yourself. A little bit here and there, and you could have made it to a certain level or whatever you might call it now.

What gives me the authority to punch the keys and bring this to your notice?

Well, I’ve been there. Ever wondered how messed-up souls give the best of advice?

Frankly, I am not one of the messed-up souls, neither my advice the epitome of opinions you’ve had earlier. Since I am a beneficiary of the pitfalls of resisting change, let us take this up with certain truth and conviction.

The human consciousness and its impact on change

It is unique to an individual. Consciousness is your awareness of thoughts, feeling, senses, and environment. The feelings unique to you and describable become your consciousness. Essentially, your consciousness is the awareness of oneself and the world around you. 

Beneath your consciousness, you govern your life through a specific set of beliefs and experiences that are extremely important to you. It dictates your life in a way that isn’t visible but apparent if you introspect. Any action or inaction is a result of your consciousness as it governs you. Though our subconscious mind makes up for most of our brainpower, it is the consciousness that interacts in the physical world. You don’t breathe or digest consciously; it happens. The subconscious commands over us, but we decide with the conscious mind. Our decisions rest on past events and future anticipations, and hence the action.

The subconscious mind works differently. It is the part of the mind that manages the regular stuff we ignore. Breathing, body movement, heart pumping, and digestion are something we take for granted. The subconscious mind and its inherent natural settings resist changes through normal conscious processes, whereas the conscious part is an abstract thing that breeds what goes around us. We realize that the difference between the two is of the time. While the conscious mind keeps toying with the past and future, the subconscious mind is ‘now,’ for the subconscious mind is real and requires specific communications. Think of your subconscious as the present moment. There is no baggage of the past and future. It keeps happening like a cycle. A change without altering the subconscious mind will not sustain.

Human consciousness has baffled philosophers for centuries. How would one describe the brain mechanism that goes in the background to project reality and individualism?

From Plato to Descartes and Locke, each had struggled to comprehend the human consciousness. 

Descartes came up with the dualist theory of consciousness. Essentially, the mind and body are separate, said Descartes. 

He summarised famously: ” I think, therefore, I am.”

Our consciousness plays a key role in assisting the change we ought to make. Hence, any change should come through a subconscious alteration to withstand any temptation or roadblocks.

# The Acceptance

We accept the good, bad, and the ugly, all of it. The most prolific resistance to change is our acceptance of the status as normal. We believe and feel the normalcy of what is. We settle in with the notion that this is it, and it becomes our primary challenge keeping us away from a possible change. 

Acceptance is easy and natural. It keeps us rooted to where we are even if we desire change. 

Unhappy people accept it as a normal condition and tend to settle down within their life.   

An unhappy job, yet we stick to it.

Chronic stress, and yet we believe it to be a part of our regular life.

No, it is not.

I remember having bouts of stress and anxiety but believed it to be a part of my daily routine. We know our unhappy place, and yet we let it overpower us due to the acceptance. Opposing change owing to our comfort with the dreadful familiarity of our daily grind. We go into our cocoons of comfort, and though we crave change, it eludes us. We keep convincing ourselves, “this is how life is and will be.” 

The acceptance of life misery kills our ambitions to alter anything. We eventually give in to the tempting life, though dreadful but comfortable.


Just about everything and anything. There is no point accepting things as they are. Accepting destiny is a great way to live and manage expectations. But acceptance of stress, anxiety, and all that is menial is caving into the abyss. 

Yes, 2+2 equals 4 is what it is, but what stops you from adding or removing another 2 if that helps.

# The Trap

Often we feel bereft of choices that we can make. Our lives move unguided and at mercy of others. Moreover, the feeling of being trapped persists within us and rightly so as we are slaves to the lives we create. We have families, loans, and other commitments to look after. Our liabilities and self-inflicted deeds stare us in our faces demanding attention. We go from one activity to another while suppressing our natural tendencies of freedom. 

There’s so much to manage that we convince ourselves to carry on without changing a bit. It is an entangle we get in. When you look around and see everybody trying to get one up against each other, we buckle up for the challenge. The thing is, we get ready for the fight, not knowing what the fight is about.


We always have choices. There is no point in living miserably and settling into a defeating pattern. Change your job if you are not satisfied with the one you have. Start a hustle to stay close to your creative side. Get closer to the core values and build your life around them. 

# The Comfort

We are natural seekers of ease and comfort, avoiding struggle, without realizing the pitfalls. We become miserable in quest of comfort and more of it. Every action we take is towards enhancing our comforts. 

Most people seek solace in their self-inflicted misery, even when they have an option to change and better their circumstances. Change becomes risky, and life adventure eludes them. Hence, the situation stays, and they live in their comfortable misery.

It’s a simple and practical principle that we find comfort in the familiar, and we get comfortable with our problems because they are known to us. We know our miseries and our comfortable within them. Any change would require an effort, but the comfort is too tempting to let go. The change eludes us as we keep ourselves protected within the shit we feed our minds with.


Be comfortable with the uncomfortable, and you’ll end up living. You can only overcome fears when you face them head-on. There are various things you dreamt of attempting but are too frightened to attempt. The determination to advance outside of your comfort zone is the potential boost to your confidence. It’ll help you move past misery.

Read further No, You Can Not Change People. That’s How It Is!