When did you say that to yourself? Trust me, it’s the ranting you need to read.
All we do is to reach somewhere, be somebody, or change as the world sees fit. Since when it became like that?
Our actions are inspired by a will to change, establish, or acquire something. Needless to say, it doesn’t work that way.
What’s left is ‘you,’ and you don’t like yourself because you need to change. At least, that’s what you think, and the world tells you. When we fail, the world comes up and slips some shit in our ears. When we underperform, your heart says you fucked up. For each experience and mess, someone is telling you that you aren’t enough.
We happily accept that we are a piece of crap, although we look sturdy and robust on the outside. Hey, if you look weak, even that’s going to be judged.
The thing is- our life events and happenings are all part of growing up. What we consider as issues and life crises are the natural flow of life. You win, lose, fall, and get back up. That’s how it is.
The problem is that we have lost a sense of life. We panic and forget that we are fine- that that’s fine. We are fine, and life is not a straight road.
Humans and implied imperfections
We cant be fine without being honest? The defining reality of our life is of being human and the implied imperfections. Find a perfect human, and let’s move on. Shall we? I could brag on this topic but then who are we to find perfections and imperfections. The words have a different meaning for everybody. Once we are intelligent enough, we have a list of right and wrong. Society discreetly lays out the expectations, and the game of life recruits you.
While waiting at the doctor’s, you find some fashion magazine packed with perfect bodies and skin.
A large hoarding reminds you that some fucking face cream will make you white or bring an instant glow.
The teacher keeps telling you about your shitty grades and that you’re not reaching far in life.
Social media puts the final nail in the coffin with displays of everybody earning millions, vacationing, and doing great things, but yourself.
It all doesn’t end up making you feel that you are left behind, but fear that your shit hasn’t started yet. The apathy and standards of society form a dreaded never-ending cycle, and you get caught in this maze. Since the repetition is subtle and regular, the only reality imagined by us is of insufficiency. The society around us works on shame and regret.
How else would products sell and fashion work? The more incapable and incomplete you feel about yourself, the better the market performs. We are always chasing the ‘thing’ to complete us and the elusive pursuit of the ‘thing’ that is our saviour and can give us the right boost to march ahead.
I’d say be fine with who you are and trust yourself. Yes, you may need tweaking but not an overhaul.
The minute we become okay with ourselves shunning external influences, our world improves.
The world is a freaking place to be
Where have we reached? I check my phone in the morning and instantly feel left behind. What the fuck happened while I was cuddling with the pillow beside me? I thought things are fine, but they are not.
Every morning I get tons of messages and notifications from people I know, some I don’t, and then others who I don’t plan to know. What the actual shit is happening?
To leave this shit, one goes to social media to scroll their life away. It is the place of solace and peace for all.
We are flooded with so much information throughout the day that it is easy to get a skewed version of society. Everything projected around is perfect and slick while you look, feel, and seem all messed up. Isn’t it?
Everyone is happy.
Everyone is in shape.
People seem to be wealthy and successful.
People are vacationing and going on dates to have sex.
Only you are not. You miserable one.
How could you be fine, or even think and trust yourself?
When everything fails, you turn up to the self-help industry, and then you lose it all.
Be happy all the time.
How to be the most popular person ever?
How to sell a comb to some bald man?
Ways to get wealthy and successful and retire by 25.
And the cycle begins. You left somewhere to reach elsewhere only to know you are stuck nowhere.
It is all flawed and untrue. Believe me.
We are imperfect, and that’s the beauty of it all. We are all flawed, and that’s fine.
Trust me, you’re fine.
The acceptance and trust
Accept yourself. Tweak, change, or evolve but first accept. The flaws and issues are all part of you. The more self-acceptance you bring, the better you feel about yourself.
I cursed myself whenever I had to step out for a party or social gathering. It wasn’t my thing to be around a group and strike some conversation. I got called out and told about this misery of mine. Eventually, it became a nuisance for me.
It took years of understanding that it is just how it is. What helped was the acceptance and no self-judgment.
Get comfortable in your skin, and the world around you comes around. You’ll wonder how things alter and adjust when you do the same for yourself. Your bluff is exposed eventually.
The less you judge yourself, the easier it gets.
The deal here is to become comfortable in your own skin. Not suggesting to turn a blind eye to flaws and halt your evolution, but to trust and accept that you are who you are. You’ve come this far, and you’ll go further.
Acceptance brings a nonchalance about you, and that’s the true definition of success if you might. Once you accept yourself and where you’re at, things change.
Most of the people you meet have their issues in life. That friend who cracks a witty joke got dumped by some girl and struggled to get over her. That guy in your office lost someone in the family and is under depression. People were, are, and will be miserable at some point in time.
That’s how life is. It pains, but you live and move on.
Also, you face your problems and stop trying to be perfect because you’re not and never will be. No matter how hard you try or make amends and improve, there is always scope for improvement. There is no end goal but the journey itself.
It is about reaching a state of calm where you stop measuring yourself against others and living your life to the fullest.
Trust me, you’ll fall short each time you compete or compare.
What helps is your acceptance of who you are.