Can you argue with a person who’s at peace and unbothered?
No, he will “ok” you to submission.
Isn’t being unbothered such a superpower? I mean, what better than deciding to stay unflustered as if you walk nonchalantly with calm music in the background. A bit dramatic, but you get the point.
So, it becomes a choice we make. Either the shit around affects us, or we move on. Bothering also kills creativity since you’ll put off things due to fear of being judged.
“You wanted to dance but didn’t.”
“You wanted to write but didn’t.“
“That side hustle you couldn’t start.”
“That girl you wanted to date but couldn’t ask.”
Yes, it all happened as you were busy bothering and putting people’s expectations above everything else. You feared judgment, eventually suppressing your instincts.
Look, this is no mean feat. To be unbothered is an art one can acquire with consistent practice through mindfulness. Perhaps, it is your ticket to calm and peace in these freakishly messing times.
If you are one of the many who get influenced by people’s opinions or judge yourself way too much and feel apologetic all the time, you’re constantly bothered then.
It is impossible to be at peace and calm when you are bothered all the time.
Here are some tried and practiced solutions that I found with self-experience.
#1. This too shall pass
These four words can change your life equation and equilibrium forever. The statement is critical to understand for general well-being. We are bothered by things and outcomes. Even before we undertake a task, we procrastinate and get disturbed by how things would pan out.
Moreover, we all live in extremes. Either we create emotions of excessive happiness or sadness. We never really explore the mid-path of being in balance.
“This too shall pass” keeps us grounded. Whatever the situation may be, it is bound to end.
We appreciate symphony because we know cacophony. Hence, this perspective changes things for good, and you lead with a balanced approach unflustered.
#2. Choose honesty or choose mum
Honesty still works. Yes, it does. We take a complex view of life due to our inherent biases and expectations created around us. The world is more diplomatic than ever. Diplomacy breeds lie. While diplomacy is a common workplace jewel now, we can try being honest in our daily lives. explanation
It’s not easier to keep up with lies. You are bound to be exhausted and drained trying to keep pace with them. And, these are not big lies, but the small daily unnecessary ones. A lie is usually followed by an explanation, even if the receiver didn’t ask for it. Your conscience craves interpretation to seal it and make it look perfect.
Truth sets you free, and you won’t require track of your deeds. Your words and action leave a trail that bothers you forever.
To live an unbothered life, choose honesty, or stay mum.
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#3. 10 people 10 different opinions. Stop pleasing
There is no point in pleasing everyone because you can not. Since you can’t, that bothers you. People always have varied opinions of themselves, let aside about you.
How would you even please people having contrasting opinions of themselves depending on the phase they are going through? Imagine pleasing everyone now.
A lot of things go wrong with this approach.
- You try to think of everyone but you.
- You consciously try to change people’s opinions of you.
- Pretending who you are not won’t work.
- You try to fit in rather than being you. Nicest
People pleasers are rarely happy and always bothered. Once you put everybody else above yourself, dissatisfaction becomes a part of your life. You may be a wonderful person, but that won’t stop the judgment of others. Why bother?
Accept yourself and be original. Rest falls in place. Live unbothered.
#4. Trust your instincts
A safe choice is not always the best choice. Trust your instincts instead. From birth, we get pushed to follow certain norms, procedures, and limiting beliefs. Somehow we end up doing what everybody else is doing or follow things blindly because they are generally acceptable.
The downside to not following our instincts is that we end up doing things for a reason and not out of love. Our whole life then is based on something we don’t associate with, and it bothers us. We imitate our surroundings and people, creating a gap between our desires and outcomes. It’s like doing engineering while you were good at the arts. You’ll never be able to carve out a perfect bridge.
Always trust your instincts, and you’ll never blame or shirk away from responsibility as the decision would be purely yours.
#5. Learn to self-talk and being alone
I am not implying shunning people or social groups, but only to be comfortable being alone. You’ll be surprised to experience this state and the bliss it offers you. Yes, we need people around for support and care, but learn to self-talk and explore being alone.
Before turning to every soul you know for some support during a panic state, wait and self-talk first. Seek comfort in being alone and managing situations in life. It brings self-assurance and control, resulting in inner peace.
For every trivial issue, you don’t need an outside opinion or a bunch of people handling your mess. Once you are in control and assured, situations bother you less. You embrace life and its ups and downs. Live unbothered.
#6. There is no point fixing each broken end
Sometimes we put too much into fixing everything. Perhaps, we care a lot, and the mess around us bothers us a lot. Aiming for perfection by fixing every trivial aspect of life doesn’t help. Life is as it is and the propensity to control everything leaves us vulnerable and exhausted. fixing
You can take control over your actions and not try changing or fixing people or every loose end. Yes, we need radical attempts to change the world by fixing things, but even that requires sanity. You can mend certain things, but not everything and everybody.
The thing is- be there for people and manage situations. Moreover, it also keeps a check on your emotions. The idea of you being a savior is flawed and exhausting. It plays with your peace, and you’ll be bothered about just everything that passes through your life.
#7. Find spirituality
Yes, and it is the opposite of being religious. I believe each one of us is spiritual, but the hard part is to explore. It helps to raise you towards higher consciousness. We are a part of the whole and spirituality assists in finding who you are. Your religion and spirituality can go hand in hand rather than being nemesis.
Our life is dictated by how we think, react, and conduct ourselves. Spirituality helps in understanding how everything works and settles you down. It teaches you to observe rather than react, which eventually helps to find your place in the universe.
The calmer you get, the more unbothered you are.