We Are Raised as an Ideal Working Person, Not an Ideal Thinking One

That wonderful moment when you first came out grumpy, and tossed over to some doc or nurse for wiping and clean-up. An ideal way, I’d say.

Do you remember?

Who knew shit’s gonna hit the roof in a few years, and you’ll still be, well, grumpy.

We are born, bathed, homed, schooled, and the list goes on. Perhaps, the critical part here is- “we are to conduct in a specific manner.” We should have no qualms about all these stages since we’d know nothing without somebody holding our hands and showing the world. 

We are all mere products brought into this world by our parents, and pushed to mingle with other products as shitty as us. We are carefully raised as an ideal working person, not the ideal thinking one. Why?

You’ll see.

Rewind your life for a bit and see what all has happened till now. From birth till your current state, you are just a product of expectations, hopes, and salvation. Did anybody tell you how to think well? The whole point of raising the child brought into this world is to make him/her an ideal working person. The idea is to make you this conforming human being who studies, talks well, gets a job, and does the task. Though you are free to choose, you are mould in a way that defeats the entire purpose of liberty. The choices you make then expose you to scrutiny by the prying eyes of friends, relatives, colleagues, and even neighbours. 

We are screwed from the beginning

We come clean slate, and then the world takes over. Our inhibitions, anxieties, and learnings result from the constant consumption of data fed to us from various sources. A person has no idea how to learn something during growing up, and all we do is absorb from our surroundings and make our reality. 

So, if you watch your parents arguing over relationships and money, you are subconsciously processing it as a negative aspect. Our relationship with various things is a result of this phase. We pick up cues from the events around us and feed them as our natural understanding and interpretations later on. 

We can think but are unaware as to how. Our thinking is merely an adoption from external stimuli that influences us. Our emotional responses to the experiences create an interpretation of those experiences, which we assume as true. Hence, emotional responses act as the earliest teachers we have.

The only problem- ” as a child, our emotional responses are underdeveloped and naive.” Our mind learns, but in reality, it is mere influences overpowering thinking.

Apart from our responses, parents and surroundings are our alternate teachers. We do as told and follow as commanded. In essence, our thinking is dead. 

What to think replaces how to think.

The predicament leaves you clueless and baffled for your entire life.

In conclusion, the product turns out shitty. We are the product.

What’s left is an ideal working person, not an ideal thinking person

Since we get stuck in a loop of conformity, we do become ideal working people. We carry the knack of discipline and do as told, but we rarely think. 

We observe our parents making ends meet, carrying on with their shitty jobs, and that stamps and seals our fate. Although we watch them struggle in their daily grind and occasional rants at home about how messed up their jibs and life is, yet we believe it to be our reality. 

Why?

Even with all the struggle, they continue serving us the shit they go through. Study well, get a college, find a job, and marry well and blah blah blah.

Ever remember said these; “hey kid, how about starting something of your own.” or ” find what you love and get hell-bent on making it happen.”

They loved security because that’s how they grew up, and they download the same info to you. I am not blaming parents but presenting facts. It’s the twist we find ourselves in. With each generation, the golden rules trickle over to the next lot to prepare an army of ideal working people. 

Who needs to think when we can obey and agree. 

Why is individuality dead?

Individuality is dead, and we are the guilty parties. How often do we come up with breakthrough ideas or something unconventional? 

Yes, the world has inventors and great people, but the number is hardly anything to be feeling proud of. 

Our individualities are a mix of everything, not us. Our life is a result of by external stimuli, owning to oneself is a tough ask.

When you ran as a kid, you were stopped to prevent from getting hurt.

When you sang as a kid, people made fun.

That time you tried something new and failed, people judged.

You were curious about the sea but held back and told that the sea is dangerous. 

So, what happened?

You thought running will hurt you.

You can’t sing.

Experiments are futile.

Water is dangerous.

Following passion is of no use.

You couldn’t do things that came naturally as a kid. We end up completely ignoring the feelings of self-satisfaction. Think of the last time you felt a complete and deep sense of self-satisfaction from doing something.

Chances are you haven’t.

Now, imagine yourself presenting something you came up with individually but declined or mocked by someone you follow. It may be a teacher, mentor, or parent.

What happens then?

You feel disheartened with your work. You end up feeling miserable and flag off the work or creativity as shitty and useless.

Since you seek validation from the influencers, the work suddenly becomes a failure. You suddenly think of yourself as a failure.

See, where am I going with this?

These experiences are defining points of our individuality. 

The individuality is crushed to death. Why?

  • Self-satisfaction and you become a distant relative. You seek satisfaction in approval from people you’d like to impress. Individuality doesn’t matter. 
  • The thinking is already dead. You rely on others as you believe they know better. Life revolves around seeking validation from others. Your ideas are, well, no more.
  • Your sole focus is to please others and make them happy. You crave approvals to find meaning in life.

Grave issue

With all this happening from a very young age, self-thinking and acceptance are collateral damage. While we become an ideal model of the working class, our thinking, unfortunately, is screwed.

In short, we are clueless, and always seeking guidanceā€”either for patterns to replicate or somebody to handhold us. 

Individuality, in process, is lost.

Also read You Make a Choice to Let Dumb Shit Affect You: 7 Ways to Stay Unbothered

Pic courtesy: Photo by Oksana Manych on Unsplash